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Old Posted Jan 9, 2018, 6:10 PM
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The Vomit Bag.
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Otisburgh
Posts: 44,876
We should come up with criteria for malls on the downswing.

Is it anchored by a liquidation mart and/or a discount food retailer (Food basics, no frills, Price Chopper, etc.)?
Did it used to have a Target, Walmart, or Zellers?
Is there an independent place that sells cardboard samosas (or cardboard pizza slices) that have been sitting under a hot lamp since Abe Lincoln was President, and also advertise "Fax" services and key cutting?
Are 20% of the stores selling cellphones, cellphone bling, and cellphone crap?
Is there a knock-off retail brand (e.g., Pizza Twice instead of Pizza Pizza?)?
Is the mall starting to fill with Dental clinics and places to get a prostate examination?
#1: Does the mall have a no-name, family-run dollar store ("Dollar-Valu", "Dollar Land", "Dollar Plus")?
Does the mall have those mechanical sofa chairs that take loonies for a massage?
Has at least one bank closed?
Are 50% or more of the customers seniors?
Does the place contain more than one place to buy hearing aids?
Have they drained the fountain at the mall centre and left it empty for years?
Do they advertise a "Mall Walkers" program (fitness for seniors by roaming the mall?)
If having a few remaining chain stores, are any/all of them Bentley/Ardene/The Source?
Does the mall's directory and/or website still list stores that have closed or moved away?
Does the mall contain empty storefronts papered over with signage saying "Coming soon!" (with no disclosure on what is coming soon) or "Exciting Retail opportunity!"
is there a flea market?
Is there a store that caters exclusively to Lord-of-the-Rings-obsessed losers, offering "the one ring", and "gollum's scat", and playing cards featuring fake nudes of Galadriel and Eowyn?
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