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Old Posted Aug 11, 2008, 2:00 AM
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Russia Invades Georgia, Atlanta Residents On Alert!!!

Atlanta, GA – “War has started" proclaimed Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin as tanks rolled into the disputed Georgian territory of South Ossetia. The long simmering conflict now at full boil has put the world on edge, but nowhere is the tension and kinship more strongly felt than in the U.S. state of Georgia.

red dawn mcdonaldsEarly reports of the Russian invasion led to small scale panic throughout the state, with grocery stores and ammunition depots being overrun with customers throughout rural areas. Quickly the panic spread into the largest city in the state, Atlanta, with freeways being clogged and emergency lines being overwhelmed.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said one local Wal-Mart store manager. “Well maybe after 9/11, but as soon as that happened we were expecting a rush. This came totally out of the blue. It’s scary.”

As news began to spread that the Georgia being invaded was actually the country of Georgia, thousands of miles away from the United States, the hysteria began to abate. Employees began returning to their jobs and calls to emergency services trickled off. Some residents though are remaining alert.

“They say on the TV that this has nothing to do with us, but you just can’t trust those Russians,” said one local resident. “I remember when they invaded Colorado in the eighties. Those reds, they’re good for nothing. You can’t trust them no further than you can throw them.”

There was of course no invasion of Colorado in the 1980’s, except in the fictional movie ‘Red Dawn’ which starred Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen.

russian tank wit hconfedrate flag

The scare has put the entire state on edge, including Police and Fire services. Richard J. Pennington, Atlanta’s Chief of Police, spoke to Scrape News.

“We have to be alert and aware at all times and our forces are ready to act at a moment’s notice. I have the National Guard on speed dial. I can tell you I very nearly made that call today.” When asked what stopped him, Chief Pennington replied, “I turned on CNN.”

CNN, which is based in Atlanta, was one of the first news agencies to break the story. Representatives for the network declined comment on the specific situation in their city, but did speak with us “CNN monitors all news stories we become aware of, and report according to what we deem as relevant. We have all the information anyone could need on the situation in Georgia, the country of Georgia that is. CNN is the world news leader.”

Scrape News also spoke to the local Department of Homeland Security. “We were overwhelmed with calls for a while there, and we are still getting a few, said official Drew Ossington. “We did contact Washington and from what we were told the President was informed of the situation.”

President Bush is currently in Beijing for the opening of the Olympic Games. The White House did not return our calls.

“I think it’s important for people to remain aware and alert,” continued Ossington. “Fear is a good thing; it keeps us on edge and ready for anything. This may have been a false alarm, but the next one might not be. I’m very happy that our residents are so proactive.”

At this time local grocery stores were still reporting significantly higher than normal traffic. In the country of Georgia, reports of major airstrikes against airbases and continued Russian progression into the disputed region continue.
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roffles

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Page...your-side.html
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  #2  
Old Posted Aug 11, 2008, 2:04 AM
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Posted by Stoney:



fantastic.
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  #3  
Old Posted Aug 11, 2008, 2:27 AM
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Um...

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Old Posted Aug 11, 2008, 3:35 AM
Dragonheart8588 Dragonheart8588 is offline
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Wow! That Yahoo question certainly makes me feel proud as a Southerner.
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Old Posted Aug 11, 2008, 7:07 PM
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