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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 3:37 AM
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How "siloed" are you?

Don't mean politically. It recently occurred to me that I've started to gravitate toward certain people when it comes to various services in a way I never used to.

Example 1: A couple of months ago I needed an emergency root canal, but all I got from my dentist was a specialist appointment out of town that was days away. Frantically calling around while contemplating cutting my head off, I was rescued by a gruff, no-nonsense dentist in his sixties with nothing in the way of the considerate bedside manner you expect these days. Suddenly what always made me so uncomfortable at my previous dentist's, a much younger guy, came into clear focus, namely the insincere and obsequious show of attentiveness, the seeming hypersensitivity to current niceties. My new dentist is a plain-speaking farm owner (and an interesting mix of the politically liberal and libertarian).

Example 2: After years of getting my hair cut by conversationally inept drones at those discount places, I accidentally walked into a men's barbershop run by a lone guy in his late sixties, and now I'm hooked. The talk, the jokes and the camaraderie are free-flowing. Why had I never thought about trying one of these places before?

I never used to discriminate much, but as I get older I'm starting to consciously seek out people I feel more comfortable around when it comes to certain areas like the examples above. In some ways I can see the potential danger of cutting myself off from demographic diversity, but then again, it's not like I agree with everything that the dentist and the barber say, or have limitless commonalities with them.

Do people in big cities really come into contact with a wide variety of people all the time? Isn't there some "siloing" happening there too?
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 4:08 AM
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I'm not sure what you mean by "siloing". Is it gravitating toward greater interaction or do you mean sticking to the familiar? Or just interacting with one's own demographic group?
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 4:18 AM
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Originally Posted by kwoldtimer View Post
I'm not sure what you mean by "siloing". Is it gravitating toward greater interaction or do you mean sticking to the familiar? Or just interacting with one's own demographic group?
The last one. I always used to see myself as a cosmopolitan renaissance man (don't laugh), able and willing to take all comers, but lately I've taken comfort/refuge in my own demographic (or thereabouts) when it comes to choosing how to spend money and/or time.

I guess I'm prodding my own assumptions and prejudices about this. I grew up in the aftermath of the civil rights movement, when the idea of "sticking to your own kind" was anathema.

I dunno, maybe raising the whole question is overwrought. They're just barbers and dentists, after all.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 6:34 AM
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I dont get it, do you mean old white guys or old gruff guys? I gravitate towards intelligent, talkative types with good social skills, regardless of race. Oh, and hot mama-sitas as well, intelligence optional
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 7:02 AM
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In my part of Coquitlam which I have lived in for 26+ years now, I have seen some changes, lately, a lot more Chinese, before that it was Koreans, Iranians before that, some eastern Europeans like Russians, Romanians.

Now I have noticed more Chinese in the area, the local mall has had a lot more Chinese businesses moving in which before that we had the "western style" Chinese restaurants catering to the mainly white/Canadian customers. Now they are catering more to the Chinese customers.

We have had loads of Korean restaurants in the area for years but now they are replacing the long standing Greek, Italian, Western Style Chinese restaurants. As well as more authentic Chinese restaurants opening.

Its always been an affordable area so its always had a large immigrant demographic. But if I compare the houses in my area to a decade ago a lot of Koreans have replaced the previous typical white Canadian homeowners. We don't have any real visible Indian population at all.

Its pretty diverse but is definitely less typical white Canadian then it was when we moved to the area in 1991.

If I use the chain haircut place I go as a barometer the chinese/koreans working there outnumber the others that have been there in the past.

The banks have really changed, RBC, TD, Scotia, CIBC etc all have Korean on their signs now and the tellers are about 90% Asian, mostly Korean.

I don't go to Church now but I used to go at Christmas and in the last few years that I would go, last time was probably 3 or 4 years ago, I noticed the Church was now 75% Asian. It was/is an old French Canadian Catholic Church, they used to have a mass in French I don't think they do anymore. Compared to 20+ years ago the parish is really different.

I don't know if that is what you're after. But I would say over the years we have seen/are more exposed to a wide variety of people. Here in Northern Alberta there are quite a few Koreans who have bought or started businesses like hotels, gas stations etc. Most locals just call them Chinese cause they don't seem to know the difference.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 1:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rousseau View Post
The last one. I always used to see myself as a cosmopolitan renaissance man (don't laugh), able and willing to take all comers, but lately I've taken comfort/refuge in my own demographic (or thereabouts) when it comes to choosing how to spend money and/or time.
The older I get (i'm shy of 30) the more I grow to dislike boomers. My family doctor is younger, my dentist is younger, most everyone I spend time with is under 40.

The only older people I don't mind are immigrants, honestly, because they don't have that entitlement that I find in a lot of older North American residents. At least IMO.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 2:06 PM
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Originally Posted by JHikka View Post
The older I get (i'm shy of 30) the more I grow to dislike boomers. My family doctor is younger, my dentist is younger, most everyone I spend time with is under 40.

The only older people I don't mind are immigrants, honestly, because they don't have that entitlement that I find in a lot of older North American residents. At least IMO.
Ahh the confidence of the youth! Embraced that attitude my boy, because before you know it you'll be in your 50's and yelling at kids to get off your nondescript public mat located in front of your chosen habitation dwelling!
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 2:07 PM
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Ahh the confidence of the youth! Embraced that attitude my boy, because before you know it you'll be in your 50's and yelling at kids to get off your nondescript public mat located in front of your chosen habitation dwelling!
The irony is astounding.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 2:39 PM
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I'd say I'm quite 'siloed'.

Partly, this is a result of the area I live in. The place has been in perpetual recession since the 1990s (and was fairly stagnant through the 1980s), so there's not much in the way of immigration, especially of the visible kind.

Walking through the shopping mall or around town, demographically it looks as if Canada of the 1970s had simply shut the door and just let the locals do their thing.

With the age demographic, I suppose so too. Less than culturally, since I have to work with a fairly large age group, but looking at who I'd call my friends they tend to be within about a decade of my own age.

Is this a conscious choice? That's hard to say. I suspect one naturally gravitates to those with whom you share commonalities, moreso if you're in a culturally homogeneous place.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 2:44 PM
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I've been thinking about this since I saw it last night. Trying to think of what to say.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 2:46 PM
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I thought this article did a pretty good job of summarizing how my worldview has changed with time:

http://www.openculture.com/2018/12/b...-grow-old.html

At one time I'd happily argue with anyone about anything... regardless of how much I knew or didn't know about a subject. I see now that a lot of that is largely pointless, at least on the internet (comment sections, forums, etc) as people aren't terribly open-minded and objective (even if they say they are) in most digital arenas.

That and I just enjoy absorbing information. I always have... as a kid I was terribly unathletic (thin and active, but horribly uncoordinated), but I found just about EVERYTHING interesting. I'm still pretty uncoordinated physically, but since my thirst for just about any kind of knowledge has continued to grow, it's also absorbed an interest in physical fitness that has served me well for the past year or so... I'm still uncoordinated and clumsy, but at least my body can pick up and put down heavier and heavier things without asking too many questions.

Overall though, I agree with Russell about that widening of perspective... the older I get, the more and more I know and am interested in, but less and less am I emotionally invested in each individual thing. I find myself nearly incapable of powerful emotional outbursts at this point. I'm not zen master, and I don't aim to be... it's just "happened". I find bad things "sad" but not crippling. I find funny things "amusing" but not to the level of absurd. I find injustice "frustrating" without jerking a knee.

I do like the comfort of my nest... the place (mentally and physically) I return to time and again but I still enjoy eating every new thing or just giving something a shot that I know I have no real hope of being good at. I'm fairly "siloed" in that my religion IS my culture, effectively, but at least that religion is fairly ethnically/culturally diverse... I'd probably not have as much exposure to those if not for it.
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Last edited by Vorkuta; Dec 14, 2018 at 3:03 PM.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 3:00 PM
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I'm pretty firmly siloed into Irish-Newfoundland surroundings, though a few of my closest friends are or were raised Protestant (I bring that up as a joke, but it is accurate just the same). Lots of acquaintances outside Of that but none I'd really see outside of a house party.

I do have friends, family and interests across almost all classes. Pretty varied in what I eat and do, though there are some constants: live music/comedy, butter chicken, hiking, travel, watching documentaries, etc.

Age wise my two best friends are almost a decade younger and a decade older. Most of the people I admire and like being around in terms of accessing services are 30+, vulgar but kind, salty people. It's what feels real and home to me.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 3:14 PM
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The irony is astounding.
I just like to sit back and chuckle at how you under 30's have it all figured out.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 3:14 PM
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I think Rousseau means he hangs out with his Mennonite brethren?
(In Waterloo/Perth county that's easily understandable.)

I don't know anyone from my background in Toronto so yes, sometimes I find myself wondering if life would be better if I did move to the American South, Scotland or England.

I've occupied silos before ... Which way does your forage blower blow?
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 4:59 PM
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So, thinking about this OP.

Based on what he's said in his posts over the years, Rousseau and I are virtually the same age.

One of the main differences between us is that I have kids (now teenagers) and he does not.

Now, getting to his question about "services", I can't say that I am feeling the same thing. Or if I am, it's happening very very subtly and I am not noticing it.

My health care and personal care providers tend to be millenials (doctor and dentist) or people my age (hairdresser - the aunt of one my kids' friends).

Obviously due to my kids I have lots of teenagers around all the time. My kids are also heavily involved in activities and I interact with their instructors quite a bit - these are generally people in their 20s.

I think the people I gravitate to in general are more similar to me in terms of social class and demeanour than anything that has to do with age.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 5:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vorkuta View Post
I thought this article did a pretty good job of summarizing how my worldview has changed with time:

http://www.openculture.com/2018/12/b...-grow-old.html

At one time I'd happily argue with anyone about anything... regardless of how much I knew or didn't know about a subject. I see now that a lot of that is largely pointless, at least on the internet (comment sections, forums, etc) as people aren't terribly open-minded and objective (even if they say they are) in most digital arenas.

That and I just enjoy absorbing information. I always have... as a kid I was terribly unathletic (thin and active, but horribly uncoordinated), but I found just about EVERYTHING interesting. I'm still pretty uncoordinated physically, but since my thirst for just about any kind of knowledge has continued to grow, it's also absorbed an interest in physical fitness that has served me well for the past year or so... I'm still uncoordinated and clumsy, but at least my body can pick up and put down heavier and heavier things without asking too many questions.

Overall though, I agree with Russell about that widening of perspective... the older I get, the more and more I know and am interested in, but less and less am I emotionally invested in each individual thing. I find myself nearly incapable of powerful emotional outbursts at this point. I'm not zen master, and I don't aim to be... it's just "happened". I find bad things "sad" but not crippling. I find funny things "amusing" but not to the level of absurd. I find injustice "frustrating" without jerking a knee.

I do like the comfort of my nest... the place (mentally and physically) I return to time and again but I still enjoy eating every new thing or just giving something a shot that I know I have no real hope of being good at. I'm fairly "siloed" in that my religion IS my culture, effectively, but at least that religion is fairly ethnically/culturally diverse... I'd probably not have as much exposure to those if not for it.
Thanks for posting this. I do feel like this a lot of the time - as if there isn't much that will get me "up in arms". I thought it was just me getting old(er) and complacent, but if Bertrand Russell described it, it's a real "thing" I guess.

Me being highly perplexed by Canadians whose blood gets boiling over Donald Trump and who as a result post dozens of memes about him every day, is likely the best example of my predicament.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 5:03 PM
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I think the people I gravitate to in general are more similar to me in terms of social class and demeanour than anything that has to do with age.
Same here. Frankly, I'd be surprised if someone DIDN'T feel this way.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 5:07 PM
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Same here. Frankly, I'd be surprised if someone DIDN'T feel this way.
Like, dealing with the gruff old guy in his late 60s who does dentistry (as described in the OP), does not appeal to me any more than dealing with a dentist who is 20 years away from me in age in the other direction - who would be a millenial in that case.
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 5:22 PM
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Me being highly perplexed by Canadians whose blood gets boiling over Donald Trump and who as a result post dozens of memes about him every day, is likely the best example of my predicament.
That just seems so futile to me. Being angry about something you can't change, unless you have American citizenship. Maybe it's the entertaining distraction, I suppose.

Then again, the current President might be more clever than he seems - deliberately whipping up controversy as a distraction via Twitter.

I guess I'm in a quotable mood today, so here's Douglas Adams:

"The President in particular is very much a figurehead — he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it. On those criteria Zaphod Beeblebrox is one of the most successful Presidents the Galaxy has ever had — he has already spent two of his ten presidential years in prison for fraud"
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Old Posted Dec 14, 2018, 5:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Acajack View Post
Thanks for posting this. I do feel like this a lot of the time - as if there isn't much that will get me "up in arms". I thought it was just me getting old(er) and complacent, but if Bertrand Russell described it, it's a real "thing" I guess.
I thought this quote really captured it nicely, at least for me:
Quote:
"An individual human existence should be like a river: small at first, narrowly contained within its banks, and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls. Gradually the river grows wider, the banks recede, the waters flow more quietly, and in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea, and painlessly lose their individual being. The man who, in old age, can see his life in this way, will not suffer from the fear of death, since the things he cares for will continue. And if, with the decay of vitality, weariness increases, the thought of rest will not be unwelcome. I should wish to die while still at work, knowing that others will carry on what I can no longer do and content in the thought that what was possible has been done."
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