Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Downtown
^Why do you hate new development?
If I've learned anything from this forum, it's that nothing must stand in the way of a new building.
Unless the building is "fugly." Then it's somehow the alderman's fault.
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I kept petitioning Reilly to zone that whole block for affordable 1/4 acre ranch-style homes. I mean, really, we need architectural diversity in River North, and there simply aren't enough ranch-style homes in this neighborhood. I grew up in a ranch-style home and how am I supposed to feel welcome in this neighborhood if it thumbs its nose my childhood memories?
I also tried to get a petition going among my neighbors for the alderman to force that 1-story building on the SW corner of Huron and Wells where a CVS is going in, to tear it down and replace it with lots for single-width mobile homes. They're so affordable that I know they're the best solution for our city's affordable housing crisis. The lot across the street from my childhood ranch home in the rural Oregon town of 560 people I grew up in had a mobile home on it so I know what I'm talking about. Plus, they're MOBILE!! How rad is that! A house ... that has WHEELS! It's the wave of the future.
I wrote a 54 page letter to Elon Musk about how he needs to add a new MH model to his line of electric vehicles because that is really the only thing wrong with mobile homes, that the have wheels but no motor. Toss a couple batteries under one, wire them to the wheels, and BAM! revolutionary new carbon-friendly transportation and housing all in one.
Of course I know there is really just one last problem, that there isn't enough street parking for them, so I made a Power Point and sent it to Chicago Parking Meters, LLC, illustrating how they need to accommodate housing with their meter plans, and that it should be cheap because otherwise the rent is too damn high! I think once they see that, they'll realize the important role they play in eliminating homelessness in this city by accommodating all of the new Tesla MH models that Elon and I are going to build a factory in Pullman to manufacture. I'm so excited to get this going just as soon as Elon responds with his final tweaks to the business plan I sent him. I know he's busy, but I expect he'll get back to my by tomorrow so if any of you need a job we'll be hiring on Friday to staff up!