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  #521  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 2:41 AM
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An interesting read about masculinity in the age of the #MeToo movement. There aren’t really answers, but interesting questions.

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/amp.theg...mentally-toxic
As for answers, I'd say there are some if you're adult. And that is, as the article mentions, a return to the individual, of identifying your faults and failings as a man and in making yourself useful to those around you and society by accepting the difficult burdens and responsibilities of life. It's not easy but it is possible to turn yourself around, particularly if you get help from other like-minded men.

But how do men get to that point? Lost, confused, angry? Well, we've done an absolutely dreadful job of turning boys into good men. Parents have failed and the educational system has blood on its hands as well. Females outpace males in almost every domain in education from elementary school to graduate school. And academia is largely comprised of women as well. Boys are dropping out of school (and life) and unprecedented rates.

We've failed horribly - a society filled with men without purpose is one which will inevitably end up in flames. Everyone needs to get on board with this effort or we're done.
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  #522  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 4:26 AM
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another one bites the dust, never heard of him though

Canadian DJ Datsik cancels all shows amid sexual misconduct allegations

'I don't condone that kind of behaviour,' Datsik says in response

By Jessica Wong, CBC News Posted: Mar 16, 2018 12:33 PM ET

Canadian electronic music DJ Datsik has cancelled his upcoming performance dates — including shows in Toronto and Laval, Que. — after allegations of sexual misconduct against him arose on social media this week.

The 29-year-old EDM (electronic dance music) DJ and producer, whose real name is Troy Beetles, announced his withdrawal in a Facebook post on Thursday.

"The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind of emotion and reflection. In light of the recent allegations against me, I am cancelling all the remaining tour dates and pulling myself off all future festivals," Beetles wrote in a short statement.

...

http://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment...p=FB_Post_News
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  #523  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 7:37 AM
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Just finished watching Bill Maher’s interview with Billy Bush. Really interesting to get his side of things. The other guests were pretty awful though in hammering him over it to the point that Bill Maher asked one of them if he had lived his entire life pre 2017 as a saint. The guy admitted to “treating women as vessels” in the past and engaging in locker room talk but said it’s ok because he grew up. I guess Billy Bush isn’t allowed to change though. The self righteousness and hypocrisy in some quarters hurts more than helps the movement.

Last edited by O-tacular; Mar 17, 2018 at 5:21 PM.
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  #524  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 5:28 PM
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As for answers, I'd say there are some if you're adult. And that is, as the article mentions, a return to the individual, of identifying your faults and failings as a man and in making yourself useful to those around you and society by accepting the difficult burdens and responsibilities of life. It's not easy but it is possible to turn yourself around, particularly if you get help from other like-minded men.

But how do men get to that point? Lost, confused, angry? Well, we've done an absolutely dreadful job of turning boys into good men. Parents have failed and the educational system has blood on its hands as well. Females outpace males in almost every domain in education from elementary school to graduate school. And academia is largely comprised of women as well. Boys are dropping out of school (and life) and unprecedented rates.

We've failed horribly - a society filled with men without purpose is one which will inevitably end up in flames. Everyone needs to get on board with this effort or we're done.
I think we need to do a better job as a society raising boys. I slipped through the cracks in elementary school when I repeated the first grade and was mercilessly tormented throughout pretty much all of elementary and junior high. It piled on further issues of self worth than I already had and destroyed any remaining self confidence. Had I been a girl I wonder if my grade 1 teacher would have been more concerned about my behaviour instead of writing me off as ‘immature’ or difficult. Perhaps she would have recognized the signs of trauma.
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  #525  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 6:43 PM
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Last edited by Pinion; Apr 18, 2018 at 1:38 AM.
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  #526  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 7:14 PM
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How I became a Wikipedia editor
While perusing, articles of Saskatchewan towns, I viewed these egregious, malicious, bullying posts.
I wanted to report it and Wikipedia, instead, encouraged me to edit it myself, which I did. I removed it. This was an article about Rosetown SK.
<snip>
In 2007 Ricky J***** was named biggest pole smoker in the town of Rosetown. . Rick enjoys taking large penises to the mouth and other various holes spread out around his body. Rick spends most of his time watching gay porn and receiving moustache rides from anyone who's willing to give them. Although he has many homosexual tendancies Rick also likes girls and he likes his girls big, if she's not pushing three hundred he pays no attention at all. Ricky likes many boys but he likes the young ones the most. He lures them to the back seat of his vehicle, oh wait he doesn't have one. Anyway he likes young boys asses. He enjoys giving rim jobs to men and taking long walks on the beach which often end up as some kind of weird gay sex. Some how Ricky J****** still manages to be a pretty sweet guy in a totally gay, rim job, moustache ride, fat chick, little boy, no car kinda way. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCHHHHHH. Kades a big raging homo that no one likes.
<\snip>

Last edited by Blader; Mar 17, 2018 at 7:18 PM. Reason: Removing name
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  #527  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 7:45 PM
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My high school in North Van was brutal. One kid was bullied so much for being "gay" that it went to the BC supreme court where they decided it couldn't be a hate crime because he wasn't actually gay. He didn't even act stereotypically gay, just reacted in an extreme way to it and the bullying snowballed.

Article from 2004:



https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news...article736534/

I always felt bad for him, but was such a hormonal basket case myself that I could barely deal with the chaos. Was only spared because I was 6'1" by age 13.
That’s brutal. Kids can be awful. Funny enough I’m 6’1” and had a beard in like grade 7 and could have easily kicked the ass of any of my bullies. For me it felt like I stuck out more. I just wanted to be invisible.
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  #528  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 7:49 PM
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Terry Gilliam has lost my respect with these comments. Not so much for the mob rule part but for the bit about Harvey Weinstein’s victims knowing what they were getting into and being adults. The worst kind of victim blaming.

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/entertai...rule-1.4581167
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  #529  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 7:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Blader View Post
How I became a Wikipedia editor
While perusing, articles of Saskatchewan towns, I viewed these egregious, malicious, bullying posts.
I wanted to report it and Wikipedia, instead, encouraged me to edit it myself, which I did. I removed it. This was an article about Rosetown SK.
<snip>
In 2007 Ricky J***** was named biggest pole smoker in the town of Rosetown. . Rick enjoys taking large penises to the mouth and other various holes spread out around his body. Rick spends most of his time watching gay porn and receiving moustache rides from anyone who's willing to give them. Although he has many homosexual tendancies Rick also likes girls and he likes his girls big, if she's not pushing three hundred he pays no attention at all. Ricky likes many boys but he likes the young ones the most. He lures them to the back seat of his vehicle, oh wait he doesn't have one. Anyway he likes young boys asses. He enjoys giving rim jobs to men and taking long walks on the beach which often end up as some kind of weird gay sex. Some how Ricky J****** still manages to be a pretty sweet guy in a totally gay, rim job, moustache ride, fat chick, little boy, no car kinda way. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCHHHHHH. Kades a big raging homo that no one likes.
<\snip>
Wow. Never seen anything like that on Wikipedia before. What kind of insecure, small dicked, sociopathic meathead bully writes that kind of shit? How can you hate someone that much? That’s what I don’t understand. How do bullies hate their victims so much? That’s beyond displaced anger. That’s maliciousness.
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  #530  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 7:58 PM
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That’s brutal. Kids can be awful. Funny enough I’m 6’1” and had a beard in like grade 7 and could have easily kicked the ass of any of my bullies. For me it felt like I stuck out more. I just wanted to be invisible.
I was 6'0" in grade 7 (still can't grow a beard though) and I know exactly what you mean. Always felt like I stuck out and everyone was watching me, and I wish I could just hide away. That reaction is probably to do with levels of confidence though.
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  #531  
Old Posted Mar 17, 2018, 10:47 PM
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Last edited by Pinion; Apr 18, 2018 at 1:37 AM.
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  #532  
Old Posted Mar 18, 2018, 2:00 AM
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Originally Posted by O-tacular View Post
Wow. Never seen anything like that on Wikipedia before. What kind of insecure, small dicked, sociopathic meathead bully writes that kind of shit? How can you hate someone that much? That’s what I don’t understand. How do bullies hate their victims so much? That’s beyond displaced anger. That’s maliciousness.
It's actually surprisingly common. I wrote the bulk of and managed all the Thunder Bay-related pages for a few years about a decade ago, and even then, comments adding in insults directed at people and in some cases, entire pages about normal people being created to slander them, were roughly a weekly occurrence. And we didn't have roll back then! Undoing a revision required multiple page clicks to accomplish. The ironic thing is shortly after I got rollback rights, around the time it came out, I got a job and lost interest in the site. Wikipedia keeps an archive of every single revision to every single page, meaning that for most editors simply removing the comment might not eliminate it entirely. In the worst cases (and fortunately I've never had to deal with them), pages had to actually be removed from the site and had their histories altered so that an insult someone put on the page wouldn't appear in that public record. That's how bad it can get. What Blader posted isn't even particularly bad for that site. In some cases, they'll write that shit in a more serious tone and even add fake citations and it can be weeks or even years before someone finds it and removed it. A while back I removed a "so-and-so is gay" comment from a page that, according to its history, had been there for about two years.

Being a volunteer in youth programming now, I've seen how much worse it is with Facebook. Rumours spread fast, and before you know it we're catching kids spraypainting "*girl's name* is a slut" in an alleyway and setting things in their yard on fire. In a few cases, we know the bullies are acting that way because their parents are neglecting or bullying them. I'm kind of thankful that when I was in school, only a small fraction of kids had cell phones and none of them had cameras.
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  #533  
Old Posted Apr 24, 2018, 9:35 PM
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I came across this case of a teacher who abused a 14 year old student in Florida that I thought was worth sharing.

https://heavy.com/news/2018/02/steph...middle-school/

Looking at her picture she is not someone you would ever expect to be a sexual predator. The insane thing is the judge lowered the amount to post bail due to some ambiguous work she's done for the community. The double standards for female offenders need to change.
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  #534  
Old Posted Apr 24, 2018, 11:42 PM
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I was 6'0" in grade 7 (still can't grow a beard though) and I know exactly what you mean. Always felt like I stuck out and everyone was watching me, and I wish I could just hide away. That reaction is probably to do with levels of confidence though.
I had the opposite experience. In grade 7 I was under 5 ft and weighed 70 lbs. I was always teased for being wimpy and effeminate, so I completely avoided sports. In grade 12 I easily could have passed for an 11 year old. I got the shit beat out of me at a bar (broken nose, stitches on my forehead, broken ribs) when I was 18 by a gay basher, who assumed I was gay because I had such a small build and effeminate appearance as I had no facial hair whatsoever. A couple of years later and I was 6'1" and 190 lbs. My sons seem to be following the same pattern as they are 16 and haven't shown any signs of a growth spurt yet. Fortunately, they seem to be well adjusted.
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  #535  
Old Posted Apr 25, 2018, 2:19 AM
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I came across this case of a teacher who abused a 14 year old student in Florida that I thought was worth sharing.

https://heavy.com/news/2018/02/steph...middle-school/

Looking at her picture she is not someone you would ever expect to be a sexual predator. The insane thing is the judge lowered the amount to post bail due to some ambiguous work she's done for the community. The double standards for female offenders need to change.
She must have had some hold over that kid if he was afraid to tell his parents. And is parents never noticed him leaving or coming back that late? Has this case gone to trial yet?
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  #536  
Old Posted Apr 25, 2018, 3:34 AM
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I came across this case of a teacher who abused a 14 year old student in Florida that I thought was worth sharing.

https://heavy.com/news/2018/02/steph...middle-school/

Looking at her picture she is not someone you would ever expect to be a sexual predator. The insane thing is the judge lowered the amount to post bail due to some ambiguous work she's done for the community. The double standards for female offenders need to change.
Absolutely but it's such a difficult discussion to have these days. The 'women as victim' narrative is so powerful.

Fact is, women are prone to sexual misbehaviour/ abuse and physical violence almost as much as men are. The data suggests that a child is more likely to be abused by its mother and that's even after correcting for the fact that women spend more time with their children than men do.

The extreme end of the scale, however, is almost entirely comprised of men; the obvious example being a prison population which is almost completely male.

But the fact of the matter is, we're all capable of evil and malice, regardless of sex. Men are over-represented in the murderer and rapist category but women are just as likely to use their power for evil in the household and even in the workplace.

Article: Why aren't we talking about abusive mums?
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  #537  
Old Posted Apr 25, 2018, 3:45 AM
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I love how that article ends with the insinuation that women are abusing children because children are telling their mothers not to physically punish them. Do you have any articles about that topic that aren't hyperbolic 300-word pieces from Rupert Mudoch's media empire? It's a subject that is definitely not covered with enough detail, especially by legitimate sources.

We also don't talk enough about how women in positions of power sexually abusing boys is overlooked or underpunished because a lot of men feel a bizarre, hideous sort of jealousy towards those boys.
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  #538  
Old Posted Apr 25, 2018, 4:47 AM
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I love how that article ends with the insinuation that women are abusing children because children are telling their mothers not to physically punish them.
This is the quote at the end of the article:
“We’ve created a culture where children can stand with their hands on their hips and say to their parent, ‘You’re not allowed to touch me. You can’t hit me.’ Parents feel powerless. They can’t cope and we see the result of that, but we’re not willing to talk about what we can do to help before it gets to breaking point.”

I think what the writer is trying to say is that most parents have no idea how to discipline their children which, over time, leads them to dislike or even hate their kids. I'm not sure about you but that's certainly what I've observed.

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Do you have any articles about that topic that aren't hyperbolic 300-word pieces from Rupert Mudoch's media empire? It's a subject that is definitely not covered with enough detail, especially by legitimate sources.
You answered your own question in a way. Unfortunately only conservative publications will ask these sorts of questions.

I would question your use of the words hyperbolic and legitimate. The article cites several government sources to support its claims. And by legitimate I guess you're referring to a media outlet that perpetuates your personal narrative. It goes without saying that you've got to read everything if you want to know what's going on.

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We also don't talk enough about how women in positions of power sexually abusing boys is overlooked or underpunished because a lot of men feel a bizarre, hideous sort of jealousy towards those boys.
It always comes back to blaming men, doesn't it?
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  #539  
Old Posted Apr 25, 2018, 12:57 PM
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She must have had some hold over that kid if he was afraid to tell his parents. And is parents never noticed him leaving or coming back that late? Has this case gone to trial yet?
She made bail so I don’t know if it has gone to trial yet. Her father is also a well known lawyer so I bet she gets some watered down sentence.
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  #540  
Old Posted Apr 25, 2018, 1:02 PM
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I love how that article ends with the insinuation that women are abusing children because children are telling their mothers not to physically punish them. Do you have any articles about that topic that aren't hyperbolic 300-word pieces from Rupert Mudoch's media empire? It's a subject that is definitely not covered with enough detail, especially by legitimate sources.

We also don't talk enough about how women in positions of power sexually abusing boys is overlooked or underpunished because a lot of men feel a bizarre, hideous sort of jealousy towards those boys.
The sickening part is I saw her picture and part of me felt that way. She is really good looking. Like pornstar hot. She represents the teenage male fantasy. Even my wife saw her picture and thought the same thing. I think it’s that much harder for a victim who is a teenaged boy.
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