Quote:
Originally Posted by O-tacular
I’m not sure which side of the argument you’re on. I absolutely believe that toxic masculinity is real and that it poses a serious threat to society. What I was referring to was your fabricated scenario where we all become pacifists who surrender to mongoloid hordes of Ted Nugent assholes.
Feminism and the Left aren’t to blame for toxic masculinity. The biggest threat men face is the emotional deadening we endure as part of a society that tells us we can’t have feelings because those are somehow feminine. To say nothing of the strong man narrative that tells us men can never be sexually abused or raped by women. The same one that demands we be stoic and self reliant rather than getting help or admitting there’s a problem. And how about blind optimism? That if we simply choose to move forward we can leave what happened in the past.
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You see these things from an inherently feminist/victim mentality viewpoint because that's how society taught you. It's not at all that you're wrong, it's that you need to change your perspective on how you look at these truths.
Stop separating victors from victims for a minute and realise we are all victims, even those who bullied and/or abused you, because everyone (even Trump) has faced scenarios in his life where he lost and was powerless to do anything about it. Once you accept that, you realise that life is hopeless and everyone of us is simply a frail being at the mercy of far greater events/forces we can never hope to control. You may become depressed by this realisation.
The next step is to realise that even though this is the reality of the world, you are still alive and you wish to continue on with your life. You start to see your abusers as human beings, who should be punished as a corrective or deterrent to them and other would be abusers and not necessarily as any form of revenge or compensation for your loss. This is still a lost/confused stage of being because you're living and no longer feeling a victim but you lack meaning, purpose and confidence. This will likely change at some point.
Something will come along at that you will want bad enough to almost fight for. Maybe it's a job or a girl/guy. Maybe a toxicly masculine individual will get that job or girl/guy but this time you have no excuses because he's just a guy who faced many challenges in life just like you, although maybe those challenges were different than yours. You feel like a victim again for a day or two because you're so enlightened yet still unsuccessful. At some point you look at why he was successful and realise that what separates the two of you are simply actions/behaviours. He's not better or smarter or more handsome, he simply DID some things you did not. Maybe he's confident and you're not. You decide that next time an opportunity like this comes your way, you will do things differently.
The lesson is that despite the tragedy of the world, we can all adopt behavioural strategies that are more conducive to success than others. Stoicism, optimism and strength are such behavioural strategies. They are an illusion meant to instill confidence in those you are trying to impress and intimidate those you're competing with. Those who adopt these strategies become marginally more successful than those who don't, which in turn builds optimism and self confidence in a self-reinforcing way. After a while, it becomes natural to accept failure as a momentary setback normal to the course of everyone's life instead of a life altering trauma. It becomes clear that dwelling on loss is futile and wasteful because opportunity is all around you and you're just wasting it.
The current narrative looks at masculinity from a feminine perspective and rightly calls out the mask of bravado for being a mask. The problem is, the behaviour strategies really do lead men to a feeling of first of all purpose (the goal that initially sets you on the path) and later happiness, confidence and accomplishment. Whether gay or straight, I believe a great majority of men benefit from adopting these strategies because these are evolved behaviours: those ancients who adopted them survived and thrived in a cruel world and became our ancestors, others did not.
It's your choice: be a victim forever or decide it's not worth your time.
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