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Old Posted Jan 8, 2019, 4:29 AM
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Greenville, SC: Sinister Machinations at the Cheesecake Factory

So. Greenville, South Carolina. It's an hour away from where I live in Asheville. I've been there before of course, and have even posted photo threads of it before. My partner and I both bought our cars there, and growing up in this area I've always been treated to the weather forecast from down there. Basically, you take the temperature in Asheville and add five to ten degrees, and you've got it.

Anyway, my partner and I had a rare weekend day off together and he didn't want to spend it sitting around the house watching our cats eat the lettuce growing in our Aerogarden. In fact, he announced, he wanted to go to the Cheesecake Factory.

I tried to warn him. I told him that if he declared he wanted to eat there and worse, if he he actually did eat there, everyone on SSP would clutch their pearls and hiss the dreaded words, "CHAIN RESTAURANT!!" and would refuse to speak to him anymore. He was undeterred by SSP scolds, however, and after a busy morning walking around downtown Greenville we did end up at the Cheesecake Factory. It tasted okay. I've definitely had worse, but about those calorie counts...

I feel certain that somewhere, in a sinister laboratory lit in cold blue mood lighting the way they used to do on shows like CSI, unethical Cheesecake Factory scientists are hard at work trying to come up with the perfect entree... Unsatisfied with entrees that pack in 2300 calories and meals that top out at more than 5000 calories, I'm sure their ultimate goal is an entree that contains 1000 calories per bite.

And rest assured, when they find it, they will unleash it on an unsuspecting nation.

So thank God we did all that walking before we went to eat.

Now, before anyone says as much, I know these pictures suck. My phone struck again. I would have taken a camera, but I really just can't find any reason to pay about $50 to reactivate my photobucket account. Just bear with me and let's go on a stroll through Greenville...

Greenville is the nearest peer city to Asheville, and people are constantly comparing the two. Asheville has better weather, scenery, and architecture, and Greenville has as good or better everything else. Once upon a time, Asheville was the only city in the region with its urban shit together and was the only city in the region that could reliably attract tourists. In the past twenty-five years though, Greenville got it together and is gaining on us. And more than a few Ashevillians sit around fuming that Greenville has jobs that pay more, houses that cost less, restaurants that are just about as good, a performing arts center worthy of the name, a zoo, and a better airport. Meanwhile, Greenville just does its thing.

Video Link


Greenville is famous for its downtown waterfall and the enormous parks complex they've built around it. Greenways and trails connect Falls Park to other major parks like Cleveland Park where the zoo is located, and then they just keep on going on through the city, on through the county... Their trail system is a marvel to behold. Back downtown they make a very deservedly big deal about the waterfall smack in the middle of the city, but not many people know about its little sister elsewhere in the big park complex that threads through downtown, though.



Once upon a time, Asheville was the only city in the region with any public art worth the name, but Greenville has caught up and surpassed us. Greenville is littered with public art, such as this Dale Chihuly sculpture that looks like wads of used chewing gum stuck together.



Greenville also surpasses us in the number of fountains. I guess it's all part of their celebration of water downtown, but Greenville is lousy with fountains.



All of this is near the South Carolina Governor's School for the Arts.



It's supposed to be some lady who did a lot for art in Upstate South Carolina, but up close it looks like that chick from Hocus Pocus



The little creek that forms the little waterfall, that flows into the big river just past the big waterfall.











The big waterfall.



We've had a lot of rain lately.



Once the park was in place along the river and the falls, the rest fell into place. Now you've got downtown Greenville booming, the West End across the river booming, and that's started spilling out into neglected little mill neighborhoods across the city.







What Greenville lacks in flashy Art Deco, it makes up for in simple, clean, and attractive historic factory architecture. There are lots of historic mills and factories across the city, and many have been preserved and repurposed. This one is an event pavilion. Others have been turned into apartments.





Why a bronze pig, you ask? Perhaps you should be asking yourself, why not a bronze pig?



I have no idea what's going on here, because it looks like he's about to shoot up. I may be biased though because in my line of work, pretty much everyone shoots up and every day is a parade of leathery meth whores, and heroin addicts whose skin already has that alluring greyish-purple hue you used to only find on dead people.





Apartment buildings are spreading across the west side of the city like lichen on a dead tree. They're everywhere and more are roaring down the pike.







Two -- count 'em! -- two cupolas!

















The old family courts building has been repurposed as a bookstore and cafe.

















And after this... Cheesecake Factory.
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"To sustain the life of a large, modern city in this cloying, clinging heat is an amazing achievement. It is no wonder that the white men and women in Greenville walk with a slow, dragging pride, as if they had taken up a challenge and intended to defy it without end." -- Rebecca West for The New Yorker, 1947
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  #2  
Old Posted Jan 8, 2019, 5:05 AM
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Nice pictures. Greenville looks bigger than it seems, based on these pictures. I didn't realize there was that kind of height and density.
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Old Posted Jan 8, 2019, 8:25 PM
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Love Greenville.
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Old Posted Jan 8, 2019, 9:29 PM
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Greenville has one of the loveliest and most vibrant downtowns I've ever experienced for a city its size.
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Old Posted Jan 8, 2019, 10:18 PM
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The city very pleasantly surprised me when I visited - much much more than I expected.
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Old Posted Jan 9, 2019, 12:36 AM
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Greenville is extremely rare on this forum.
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Old Posted Jan 9, 2019, 4:48 AM
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I was just there about 10 days ago...this is a city that is really getting their downtown right in terms of scale and public spaces. Wonderful city.
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Old Posted Jan 10, 2019, 5:02 AM
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Nice picture thread. Man!! If only South Carolina would allow them to annex. They could be several times larger than what they are now!!
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  #9  
Old Posted Jan 14, 2019, 2:12 PM
JMKeynes JMKeynes is offline
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  #10  
Old Posted Jan 17, 2019, 4:41 AM
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eh, it's not a bad city but not my thing. i prefer Asheville, Charleston and Columbia by far. honestly i think i even prefer Augusta. but i'm weird like that.

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  #11  
Old Posted Jan 17, 2019, 2:36 PM
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hauntedheadnc hauntedheadnc is offline
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Originally Posted by LSyd View Post
I prefer Asheville, Charleston and Columbia by far. honestly i think i even prefer Augusta. but i'm weird like that.

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Splain how.
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"To sustain the life of a large, modern city in this cloying, clinging heat is an amazing achievement. It is no wonder that the white men and women in Greenville walk with a slow, dragging pride, as if they had taken up a challenge and intended to defy it without end." -- Rebecca West for The New Yorker, 1947
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Old Posted Jan 19, 2019, 7:57 AM
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Splain how.
they're more organic cities compared to the feel of Greenville being a "soccer mom's" idea of what a downtown is supposed to be. i'll give credit though, i like how conceptually Greenville pulled off Oktoberfest downtown. Greenville's good for being squeaky clean, i just prefer the chaos of the other regional cities of similar size.

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Old Posted Jan 19, 2019, 4:11 PM
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You both are BMW drivers? While passing through many years ago I didn't stop (big mistake, I didn't realize how charming it looks...but I will make up for it) but did race a few drivers, was a fun time.

Great pics!
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Old Posted Feb 14, 2019, 12:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hauntedheadnc View Post


See, there IS something Art Deco to salivate over!

Speaking of salivating, which 2000 calorie slice of cake did you (hopefully) share?
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  #15  
Old Posted Feb 14, 2019, 2:01 PM
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hauntedheadnc hauntedheadnc is offline
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Location: Greenville, SC - "Birthplace of the light switch rave"
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Originally Posted by geomorph View Post
Speaking of salivating, which 2000 calorie slice of cake did you (hopefully) share?
I do remember that it had peanut butter in it, but I don't remember what it was called.

It's worth mentioning though, that after our meal we went on into the Haywood Mall where the restaurant is, and we went to Macy's. I found a fetching sweater on sale that I just had to have, but we couldn't find the right size. We found a saleslady and asked for assistance.

"I see that you have this in fat boy size, but not in fat bastard size," were my exact words, "Do you have this in fat bastard?"

They did not but thankfully, it turned out that fat boy size was adequate.
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"To sustain the life of a large, modern city in this cloying, clinging heat is an amazing achievement. It is no wonder that the white men and women in Greenville walk with a slow, dragging pride, as if they had taken up a challenge and intended to defy it without end." -- Rebecca West for The New Yorker, 1947
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  #16  
Old Posted Feb 18, 2019, 12:56 AM
llamaorama llamaorama is offline
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Your posts are always so entertaining.

To tell the truth, I kind of like the Cheesecake Factory. But sure it’s sinister. Haven’t you heard of the spaghetti warehouse? It’s the whole dining industrial complex.
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  #17  
Old Posted Feb 18, 2019, 1:08 PM
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hauntedheadnc hauntedheadnc is offline
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Originally Posted by llamaorama View Post
Your posts are always so entertaining.

To tell the truth, I kind of like the Cheesecake Factory. But sure it’s sinister. Haven’t you heard of the spaghetti warehouse? It’s the whole dining industrial complex.
I honestly do try to make my photo threads a little more than just a picture dump.

I have heard of the Spaghetti Warehouse, but I haven't eaten there... I do love the phrase "dining-industrial complex" though, and I am going to make a serious attempt to work that into ordinary conversation every chance I get from now on.
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"To sustain the life of a large, modern city in this cloying, clinging heat is an amazing achievement. It is no wonder that the white men and women in Greenville walk with a slow, dragging pride, as if they had taken up a challenge and intended to defy it without end." -- Rebecca West for The New Yorker, 1947
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