Who's more annoying? Loft dwellers or jail bait?
John Kelso
Sunday, February 11, 2007
http://www.statesman.com/news/conten...1/11kelso.html
Who would you rather have as a downtown neighbor? A loft dweller in Gucci shoes carrying a man bag, or a bag man and his attorney?
Great choice, huh? It's like asking, "Would you prefer a scumbag, or, how about a scumbag?"
Still, the hot debate these days has been over what to do with that pile of concrete at Fifth and San Antonio streets known as the Intel shell.
I always thought Intel-henge (my name for it) should be preserved as a historic relic. After all, it really is the Alamo of the high-tech bust, a reminder of what happens when everything turns to poop after it becomes apparent that your company has no discernible product.
But preserving the Intel structure (if you can call something without walls or a ceiling a structure) wasn't one of the choices. Some people say the spot should be sold to private enterprise for more high-dollar condos, while others think it should be used for a federal courthouse.
So the big philosophical question is this: Who would you rather have as a downtown neighbor: a group of self-absorbed egocentric Wi-Fi weirdos on MySpace? Or a bunch of crooks whose space is fixing to be 6 feet by 9 feet with a toilet in the middle?
The old applause-o-meter would have a hard time discerning much of a difference on those two, huh?
See, here's the deal. Mayor Will Wynn wanted to delay the scheduled Feb. 25 implosion of the Intel pile o' concrete because developers offered to buy the property at Fifth and San Antonio streets for $13 million. The thinking here is that there's more money to be made off yet another downtown high-rise with a heated pool and elevated nostrils than there is off a big ugly gray concrete building with a metal detector and frisking.
On the other hand, the federal government has put the kibosh on Wynn's proposal and plans to go ahead with the implosion on schedule. The government says that a delay would cost the $65 million federal courthouse project too much money.
I'm kind of glad the courthouse won over condos. Are you getting the feeling that we have too many high-rise lofts downtown as it is? Has it ever occurred to these builders that some of these buildings might not fill up and we might run out of yuppies? What then? Are they going to turn one of these deals into the world's tallest Wal-Mart?
Let's face it. Condos attract a bad element. You know what drives me nuts? It's when I walk into one of these cappuccino joints downtown and everybody's got an iPod stuck in his ear. And suddenly I'm invisible. I mean, I could drop dead on the floor, and they wouldn't notice I was there unless they tripped over my corpse on their way to the men's room.
The solution? Carry a tiny pair of scissors and clip their little iPod wires. If they gripe, just say, "Hey, loft boy, I thought this dump was supposed to be wireless."
Another reason I favor the courthouse? At least the criminals will be headed up the river, so they won't be taking your table at Eddie V's. But the loft dwellers? We'd be stuck with them. Trust me. They ain't moving to Waco.