<<Midwest Coffee Talk: The Tens>> - Page 173

Cleveland Brown · #**3441** Posted **Apr 10, 2012, 10:57 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMich

Oh, God; someone save this thread.

I had a case of the bubble guts ("BGs") today. I held it in for four hours before I headed home. The sounds of my stomach and intestines rumbling for most of the afternoon must have been most unsettling for those with whom I came into contact. I usually only get the BGs when I have to fart, but can't, for a long time. Usually I can't fart sitting up at work (just get the BGs) and when I excuse myself to fart in a private location at work I can't fart standing up. I can only fart while lying in bed, but that isn't an option at work. Anyway, after feeling like I was going to explode on my commute home, I laid down in bed and let her rip for a good 40 minutes. Relief!*

* The preceeding statement still not a disgusting as Vid's mind.

vid · #**3442** Posted **Apr 10, 2012, 11:01 PM**

You can only fart when you're laying down?

See, that is way more fucked up than me finding a bearded man attractive. Also, for the record, I have "bubble guts" yesterday, it culminated in a painful walk home (longest 1.5 blocks of my life) and then explosive diarrhea. So there.

Kngkyle · #**3443** Posted **Apr 10, 2012, 11:05 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cleveland Brown

* The preceeding statement still not a disgusting as Vid's mind.

Agreed.

vid · #**3444** Posted **Apr 10, 2012, 11:11 PM**

THIS IS PRETTY FUCKING BIG YOU GUYS.

rockyi · #**3445** Posted **Apr 11, 2012, 12:41 AM**

I had the "BGs" bad a while ago while we had company over. Every time I would excuse myself to the bathroom to relieve the pressure....nothing, but when I'd go back in the living room to visit it would start up all over again. This went on for a few hours. Finally the visiting couple got up to leave and we saw them out. Moments after they walked out the door, I ripped the most incredibly loud, magnificent "BLAAAP" in the history of fartdom (I'm guessing the downstairs neighbors heard it too). Me and Virginia started laughing so damn hard it was a good thing our friends didn't forget anything and have to come back in to see us red-faced and teary eyed from laughing..... plus the fact the room suddenly smelled like rotten pumpkins was a little nasty.

.....And I didn't even have to lay down to do it.

This thread has hit a new level in maturity.

Cleveland Brown · #**3446** Posted **Apr 11, 2012, 12:49 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by vid

You can only fart when you're laying down?

Only when I hold a fart in too long

Quote:

Originally Posted by vid

See, that is way more fucked up than me finding a bearded man attractive. Also, for the record, I have "bubble guts" yesterday, it culminated in a painful walk home (longest 1.5 blocks of my life) and then explosive diarrhea. So there.

There's nothing wrong with that. I have quite a few fetishes myself. I simply do not post them, repeatedly, for all of the internets to see.

Cleveland Brown · #**3447** Posted **Apr 11, 2012, 12:50 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by vid

this is pretty fucking big you guys.

vid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rockyi · #**3448** Posted **Apr 11, 2012, 12:52 AM**

He's such a bastard!

vid · #**3449** Posted **Apr 11, 2012, 1:09 AM**

Savage bastard.

mobyhead · #**3450** Posted **Apr 11, 2012, 12:18 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cleveland Brown

I had a case of the bubble guts ("BGs") today. I held it in for four hours before I headed home. The sounds of my stomach and intestines rumbling for most of the afternoon must have been most unsettling for those with whom I came into contact. I usually only get the BGs when I have to fart, but can't, for a long time. Usually I can't fart sitting up at work (just get the BGs) and when I excuse myself to fart in a private location at work I can't fart standing up. I can only fart while lying in bed, but that isn't an option at work. Anyway, after feeling like I was going to explode on my commute home, I laid down in bed and let her rip for a good 40 minutes. Relief!*

OMG, that made me laugh. I got those from time to time and being at the office wasn't cool. Turns out it was the extra fiber in my breakfast bars.

Cleveland Brown · #**3451** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 2:26 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockyi

This thread has hit a new level in maturity.

Sez you! I haven't even began to hit the bottom of the barrell, let alone scrape it! BGs again today. I think it's my body reacting to the drastic reduction of calories. I'll boost up the calories (and yougurt) until this all blows over (no pun intended).

vid · #**3452** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 2:38 AM**

Nothing happened to me today that can top CB's intestinal wigglies, so I'll let him have it.

Centropolis · #**3453** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 3:01 AM**

I just uh. I just now ate all of these raw oysters that were driven in on a truck from New Jersey on Saturday. I shucked them without severing a finger, too. One of the dozen smells like goose shit and the whole house smells like that one bad oyster i threw out. The other stuff in the photo includes beer, a lemon, candy, and the top of a cat feeder.

It's kind of a wait and see deal, they kind of went down gaggy.

It could be a bad night.

Centropolis · #**3454** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 3:12 AM**

Well I'm out of commission for 48 hours.

rockyi · #**3455** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 4:00 AM**

Put a bucket next to the bed just in case.

Ayreonaut · #**3456** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 5:05 AM**

Never trust oysters in the middle of the continent.

LMich · #**3457** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 9:27 AM**

So, the Michigan AP Editorial Association had their annual awards banquet for newswriting, graphics and news photo the other day. This was the prize-winning photo:

Daniel Mears / The Detroit News

Yes, that is the Dunkin' Donuts mascot with two DPD officers at a tunnel in Ford Field.

Cleveland Brown · #**3458** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 11:40 AM**

^ It looks like the donut is thinking "Oh crap, I'm going to die today!" and the cops are thinking "Let's carve this big glazed bitch up and take it back to the station!"

And where the heck have you been LMich? I only notice you posting in the early hours of the morning.

Ex-Ithacan · #**3459** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 2:09 PM**

^ LOL

After the last couple of pages, this place kind of scares me.

Cleveland Brown · #**3460** Posted **Apr 12, 2012, 2:19 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Centropolis

I just uh. I just now ate all of these raw oysters that were driven in on a truck from New Jersey

It's kind of a wait and see deal, they kind of went down gaggy.

It could be a bad night.

New Jersey??? The fuck is wrong with you? Every adult should know never to buy property in Detroit, never to wear a mullet, and NEVER to eat any seafood from the polluted shores of Jersey!

You probably were not eating oysters, but crabs that feel off of Snooki's coochie!