When you feel like crawling, take the train
Light rail provides rolling party transportation for pub crawlers
anna.ritner@gmail.com
Published Friday, Jun. 26, 2009
It's 1:25 p.m. on a Saturday, and while most of the lethargically chic diners at the Shady Lady Saloon are hiding under oversize sunglasses and chasing their hangovers with Bloody Mary cocktails, a posse of geeks – lithe, energized, wielding calculators, pH strips and silver Sharpies – prepares to conquer the city.
With a water bottle, minute-by-minute schedule and survival food ration in my bag, I surrender my fear of leaving the midtown grid, along with any shred of paranoia that comes with attending an all-day social event by myself, and I join them.
The clock strikes 1:30 p.m. and suddenly, as if by the divine ordainment of the beer gods, we are transformed from a group of almost-perfect strangers into the Light Rail Pub Crawlers of Sacramento, class of June 2009 (also known as the "Freaks, Geeks and Nerds" tour). Together, we are boldly going where no ordinary crawl has gone before: to Folsom. And Rancho Cordova.
"This isn't amateur night," says Scott Carrington, 37, official Sacramento dive bar connoisseur and organizer of the Sacramento Light Rail Pub Crawl. He's referring to his zero-tolerance policy for rowdiness, destruction and, generally, people who can't hold their liquor like civilized adults. For an event that lasts 12 hours, it takes some strategy.
But Carrington, who has been organizing Light Rail crawls since 2006, has his events down to a science. He plans his routes in advance with the help of friends who accompany him on "dry runs" to prospective bars.
In addition to emitting a friendly vibe and being located within easy walking distance of a light-rail stop, there are a couple of other qualifications bars must satisfy to score a spot on the itinerary.
"I don't do ultra lounges, and I don't do covers," he avows. He does do kilts, however, and he's wearing one today, accessorized with his best Steve Urkel apparel. You really can't miss him in a crowd, and I figure that's probably the point.
Although Carrington's pub crawls have traveled as far as Oakland and Los Angeles, today's "modest" route covers 10 bars and four area neighborhoods: downtown, Rancho Cordova, Folsom and east Sacramento. On the train to Rancho, drifting farther and farther away from familiarity, I get to know my nine fellow crawlers. They are professional men and women, mostly 30-somethings hailing from midtown and east Sac, and they are all urban adventure-seekers looking to relax with their friends and meet new ones. Most of us have never attended a Light Rail Pub Crawl, and some of us shamefully admit to never having taken a ride on the light rail at all.
The first stop is Louie's Cocktail Lounge in Rancho Cordova – a NASCAR-worshipping kind of place located in a strip mall next to the freeway. The median age is 65, and there isn't even a small chance you'll see anyone you've ever seen in midtown here. Its suburban location means abundant roaming area, space for your pool cue to breathe, and no line for the bathroom.
Just when we've gotten into a good conversation about Thai restaurants, it's time to go, and we all hop back on the light rail for the 30-minute jaunt to Folsom. It's like a boozy adult field trip, but we're all friends by the end of the long ride, and we emerge as a unit and march into Sutter Club Sports Bar, where every single bar stool is occupied – and it's only 4 p.m.
Surrounded by at least 10 flat-screen TVs and a jamming digital jukebox that's crying "Love Bites," I'm in complete sensory overload. There are almost as many electronic devices as there are human beings. As the crawl ventures on, I realize this is the norm for Folsom, although the Powerhouse Pub – an amazing labyrinth-circus of a bar – got major kudos from the group for its large outdoor veranda and oversize wicker chairs.
After another hour spent complaining about our mothers, testing our cocktails with pH strips and discussing the best scents for public bathrooms (tangerine), it's 6 p.m., and I'm awestruck by the stamina of my fellow travelers. Hungry and dehydrated, I promise the geeks I'll return to them later, and I take the very long light-rail ride back to my native grid to recover.
Fast-forward to 10:30 p.m.: I roll up to Hilltop Tavern on Folsom Boulevard, placing bets with myself about how many of the original crawlers have survived the transition from daylight to night life.
I cross the street just as they're walking up to the bar (like true geeks, they're sticking precisely to schedule), and I'm amazed to count every single one of them there, plus a few new faces. Some of them have even changed outfits since I saw them last, hair let loose and dressed up in their sexier evening wear. I'm seriously impressed, and a little disappointed in myself.
Outside the bar, I ask Carrington, who is still very much composed at this point, what his secret to success is. He clears his throat to preface this sage shot of advice: "The pub crawl. It's not a sprint, you see. It's more like a marathon."
I can hardly wait for the next race through Sacramento. But I need to start training now.
To learn more about Sacramento Light Rail Pub Crawlers and their upcoming events, visit their "Lightrail Pubcrawlers of Sacramento" page at
www.facebook.com.