Why Some Americans Won’t Move, Even for a Higher Salary

[Steely Dan]

Originally Posted by 10023

Parents can move too. The more logical idea if it is important for children and parents to be near to each other would be for retired people to move close to where their working children can have a productive career.

That scenario recently happened with some of my parents longest-time friends. It just so happened that both of their children ended up in the twin cities (one for job, the other married a minnesotan), and they were like "both of our kids, and their spouses, and our 5 grandkids are all up in minneapolis, and we're retired now and can live wherever we want, so we should probably just move there."

It was extremy bittersweet for them, as they had to say goodbye to their entire community of life-long friends here in chicago, but grandkids win!

And my parents and the rest of their friends all completely understood their decision.

Another friend couple of my parents in that same group have four kids, who all now have children of their own and live in seattle, denver, atlanta, and boston respecfively. so, they're like "none of our kids (and grandkids) live here anymore, but Chicago is not a bad spot to be in terms of being able to conveniently travel to all of our widely dispersed grandchildren". So, grandparents moving to grandkids isn't always a straightforward equation.


My folks are lucky because me and my sister, and all 6 of their grandkids, still live here in chicagand, so they have no reason to uproot their lives and start over in some strange land.

[jtown,man]

Originally Posted by 10023

Parents can move too. The more logical idea if it is important for children and parents to be near to each other would be for retired people to move close to where their working children can have a productive career.

It's more complicated than that. They also have a friend network and the rest of my family which includes aunts and uncles and of course cousins etc. It's nice to have a family event and have 30 people show up.

[pdxtex]

i think the recession and a changed economy might have neutered some of our collective wanderlust. people are probably more hesitant to move now more than ever, especially if they have a good job thats working out locally. its the uncertainty on the other end that is probably scary. especially when so many people had the economic rug pulled out from under them. dunno man, im 45 and dont think id uproot myself and try to start over again unless the deal was extremely compelling. id have to make 30% more and move to someplace either equally expensive (or less) than portland. we talk about moving to seattle but even with higher salaries, the higher cost of housing would make it a wash. ill just stay here. its nice and safe......

[pdxtex]

Originally Posted by HowardL

In bed with Steely on this. I grew up elsewhere, moved elsewhere from there and came here.

Landed at O'Hare, took the Forest Park A train down to Clark/Lake, exited, walked one block up to Wacker, saw Marina City and IBM in a haze that I never see here any more and I was hooked.

Never looked back. Best date I've ever had. That was 1988.

wow the way you describe that sounds so f$cking awesome. at this point, chicago is about the only city id uproot myself for and to move to deliberately, just because...i totally scope out chicago real estate. already have my cycling, kayaking, sailing and sportsbar crawling road map made out. id live in close in skokie, store my 14 ft laser in evanston and ride my bike all around that big ass cementy grid, stopping for beers, burritos and tv sports all along the way! id just have to figure what to do with my downtime come decemeber thru march. i guess id take road trips back home and go snowboarding up north someplace....

[GlassCity]

Yeah I'm definitely rooted too. While I enjoyed my couple years of university in Winnipeg, if i had gotten into my home university in Vancouver, I'd probably never leave. And it's not an attachment to the place or anything like that, but purely the people. No place and certainly no career prospects could ever be enough for me to want to leave home. Even if I was making more money or working on more exciting stuff, what's even the point if I can't spend time with my family and friends? Maybe it's just cause I'm fairly introverted, but I can't ever imagine feeling a similar level of belonging or closeness with new friends as I do with the people I've been friends with for years.

[AviationGuy]

I like stability. Have lived within a 1/2 mile radius (an apartment, a condo, and a house) since 1976. Been in my house for over 27 years. I could sell this place and move further out, and have a huge, updated house, but it wouldn't be home. I just feel good when I walk into my familiar 53 year old home with its beautiful yard and trees. Travel is great, but after I retired and stopped business travel, I lost the desire to travel much. Even a couple of years ago, I was excited about the prospect of moving to another city and starting a new life. Unless circumstances change, right now my current situation just feels good. It feels right. It's home.

[10023]

Originally Posted by jtown,man

It's more complicated than that. They also have a friend network and the rest of my family which includes aunts and uncles and of course cousins etc. It's nice to have a family event and have 30 people show up.

The idea that everyone just has to stay in the place where they grew up to preserve physical proximity to family is a big part of why more traditional cultures are less economically productive.

What if your parents and family live in a place that sucks?

[Nomad9]

This topic reminds me of this Onion article that really hits home: https://local.theonion.com/unambitio...liv-1819575312

I struggle with this because I grew up as a military kid moving every 2-4 years. Through various circumstances, that trend has carried over into my adult life. As a result, I feel psychologically “rooted” to about 6 cities. I now live in a place that I’m learning to like and that is starting to feel like home. It also provides me with excellent career opportunities...as in making a salary more than twice what my parents have ever made before I’m 30. But the temptation to leave that all behind to be in one of my “rooted” places is strong, even though the $ and career opportunities are lesser.

[maru2501]

seems like a lot of millennials would say they are stuck

[jtown,man]

Originally Posted by 10023

The idea that everyone just has to stay in the place where they grew up to preserve physical proximity to family is a big part of why more traditional cultures are less economically productive.

What if your parents and family live in a place that sucks?

Dude, I totally agree. And my sisters do live in a terrible place on every account. I was just stating why some people might do what they do.

[jtown,man]

Originally Posted by Nomad9

This topic reminds me of this Onion article that really hits home: https://local.theonion.com/unambitio...liv-1819575312

I struggle with this because I grew up as a military kid moving every 2-4 years. Through various circumstances, that trend has carried over into my adult life. As a result, I feel psychologically “rooted” to about 6 cities. I now live in a place that I’m learning to like and that is starting to feel like home. It also provides me with excellent career opportunities...as in making a salary more than twice what my parents have ever made before I’m 30. But the temptation to leave that all behind to be in one of my “rooted” places is strong, even though the $ and career opportunities are lesser.

Same here.

I've learned to embrace wherever I am at. I've been in Norfolk now for 5 years and I consider this home. In the military everyone says they are "going back home." This means they are going to where their family is or where they joined the military at. I always hated that mindset. My home is literally where I am currently. I am invested in my community and until the day I move, I will continue to be.

On a side note, its cool living in a couple of different places. I love following developments and news from the various places i've lived.

[dktshb]

Madison to Denver; Denver to Phoenix; Phoenix to Long Beach; Long Beach to Los Angeles; Los Angeles to San Francisco. Still have my place in LA so now I go between LA-SF and Tahoe. I guess I feel rooted in California.

[GlassCity]

Originally Posted by 10023

The idea that everyone just has to stay in the place where they grew up to preserve physical proximity to family is a big part of why more traditional cultures are less economically productive.

What if your parents and family live in a place that sucks?

There's more to life than maximizing your individual economic productivity. There's also something to be said about trying to set up your own opportunity rather than going somewhere already established. Say like if you live in Bentonville, Arkansas.

And seems to me like the question implies that you like the place you're from, at least enough that it's worth staying for your parents. Lots of people hate where they're from and don't have the same attachments a few of us have voiced here. For those people, yeah, there's no question.

[destroycreate]

I envy what everyone says about feeling rooted. I never had the "I know the mailman by first name" or "Harriet and Al across the street babysat me and also attended my college graduation" Americana experience that some have alluded to above. I would say San Diego feels the most home-like for me (because my parents have been living there for 25 years now) and I always have that to come back to, but having lived in sooo many places now, I often feel homesick for all of them. Each city, whether it be Copenhagen, San Francisco, Seattle, etc., has given me something special and I definitely feel a longing for each place.

Right now for example, living in LA, I am missing the beauty and simplicity of living in Seattle, even the cozy (endless) rainy days. The leafy streets. The lack of strip malls and ugly areas (lol). But I am also missing Copenhagen and how simple my life was when I lived there, everything from the biking culture to the historic architecture and awesome public transit. If I moved back to either of them though, I would then feel restless due to FoMo and all the excitement, diversity, and trendy lifestyle LA offers.

Ugh, I am never fully content! I'm not sure I'll ever feel fully settled anywhere, even though I wish I could. I'll probably always be moving every 3-5 years because I'm a nomad at heart and I'm always craving new experiences.

[Nomad9]

Originally Posted by jtown,man

Same here.

I've learned to embrace wherever I am at. I've been in Norfolk now for 5 years and I consider this home. In the military everyone says they are "going back home." This means they are going to where their family is or where they joined the military at. I always hated that mindset. My home is literally where I am currently. I am invested in my community and until the day I move, I will continue to be.

On a side note, its cool living in a couple of different places. I love following developments and news from the various places i've lived.

That’s the approach I take too. Although the downside is that when you leave, it hurts more because you’re leaving “home,” not just a temporary place. Now I have geographic identity disorder. Am I a midwesterner? Texan? Southerner? Delawarean? All of the above in different ways.

I’m now early in a reputation-based and regulated field (law), however, so it makes sense to stay put for the next couple decades.

[JManc]

Originally Posted by 10023

The idea that everyone just has to stay in the place where they grew up to preserve physical proximity to family is a big part of why more traditional cultures are less economically productive.

What if your parents and family live in a place that sucks?

Because "Sucks" is subjective.

Originally Posted by 10023

The idea that everyone just has to stay in the place where they grew up to preserve physical proximity to family is a big part of why more traditional cultures are less economically productive.

What if your parents and family live in a place that sucks?

also the idea that anyone bases their life choices on optimizing their culture's economic productivity instead of, you know, being happy.

[10023]

Originally Posted by JManc

Because "Sucks" is subjective.

Not entirely. There are objective aspects to it.

One of the reasons that Steely finds it so easy and attractive to remain in the place where he grew up and where his family is based is that he grew up in the third largest city in America. He might prefer living elsewhere, family aside, but he’s not exactly handicapped in his career options, access to culture, etc by his hometown. For someone not quite so lucky, who happened to grow up in Nowheresville, USA, the trade offs are more apparent.

[iheartthed]

Originally Posted by 10023

Not entirely. There are objective aspects to it.

One of the reasons that Steely finds it so easy and attractive to remain in the place where he grew up and where his family is based is that he grew up in the third largest city in America. He might prefer living elsewhere, family aside, but he’s not exactly handicapped in his career options, access to culture, etc by his hometown. For someone not quite so lucky, who happened to grow up in Nowheresville, USA, the trade offs are more apparent.

Agreed. I don't think this is aimed at people living in most major metropolitan areas. Even large Rust Belt metro areas like Detroit still offer enough opportunity that makes a long distance move not very necessary. It's very different than being stuck in some coal-mining town in West Virginia.

If/when I move again, the social networks that I have in place will factor in a lot on the decision of where I go next. Almost all of the cities on my short-list are places where I have close friends in proximity. The only places I would go to start from scratch are outside of the U.S.

On a related note, that's one of the down sides to living in a place like New York. The population is so transient that you have to continually make new friends. My close friend group tends to change about every 2-3 years due to people leaving.

[JManc]

Originally Posted by 10023

Not entirely. There are objective aspects to it.

One of the reasons that Steely finds it so easy and attractive to remain in the place where he grew up and where his family is based is that he grew up in the third largest city in America. He might prefer living elsewhere, family aside, but he’s not exactly handicapped in his career options, access to culture, etc by his hometown. For someone not quite so lucky, who happened to grow up in Nowheresville, USA, the trade offs are more apparent.

My family more or less lives in 'Nowheresville' and they don't think it sucks. They would rather live right where they are than the next closest major city, NYC because to them...the thought of living in such an area would be hell.