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  #1561  
Old Posted Jul 29, 2016, 3:16 PM
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One of my best friends is both FTM transgendered (currently transitioning) and asexual, and he does often find things like pride parades to be somewhat exclusive of people like him. It can be fascinating to hear the perspectives of someone whose queer identity is much more complex than mine (which is simply "gay man").

One thing is that he's faced a lot more prejudice and ignorance than I have; whereas I've actually never experienced any overt homophobia at all (benefits of being born in the early 1990s and living exclusively in urban centres!), he's constantly been on the receiving end of transphobia and he's had people dismiss his asexuality as either a fad or as attention-seeking behaviour.

We've come a long way towards progress on queer rights and equality, but different communities have unfortunately progressed at a different pace.
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  #1562  
Old Posted Jul 29, 2016, 9:57 PM
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Originally Posted by ciudad_del_norte View Post
This is very important point that is often forgotten or ignored. There is a decent amount gay men especially (usually white) that don't care or even purposely exclude others from "the community". It's pretty gross sometimes.

Ethnically straight? That's a new one I haven't heard before. Based on the term though, I imagine that I wouldn't like some of the assumptions I imagine underpin the need to identify as such.
I'm guessing this is a reference to non-heterosexuals who enter into arranged marriages in keeping with cultural traditions?
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  #1563  
Old Posted Jul 29, 2016, 10:47 PM
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Originally Posted by 1overcosc View Post
I prefer the term "queer". It's an umbrella term that can refer to everybody without having to use insanely long acronyms that, given the huge range of gender and sexual identities, will always be inherently exclusive no matter how many letters you throw on.
Lots of people here use "queer" as well, but it is already strongly associated with mental illness in local slang, and has been for generations. "He's a bit queer..." would be interpreted by almost everyone here as meaning he's slightly off-putting, there's some mental illness that will eventually make you uncomfortable being around him.

So, there's a bit of a divide. Most older people, with the notable exception of basically all our social activists, hate the term, to the point of ranting against it in Facebook posts, taking offense when it's used to reference them, etc. Younger people, certainly younger than 30, seem to be more comfortable with it.

When articles here use phrases like "conflict between the gays and the queers", which I've seen a couple of times, it's very clear what that means - it's an age reference.

Personally, I'd never use it for myself. But I don't care what others call themselves. And, really, it's a losing battle.

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  #1564  
Old Posted Jul 30, 2016, 12:21 AM
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The whole point of the gay rights movement was to tell society that we are not "queer". We re not deranged, misguided, immoral or any other negative context. The word queer separates us from society at large as opposed to becoming another part of it.

Most very supportive straight people {like my sister/brother/mom} hate the term because they don't like the idea of me being viewed a weirdo but rather just another guy.

Queer is derogatory term because it is a derogatory word. They say they want to "take back the word" which is just about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. You don't hear blacks demanding to be called Niggers or Chinese being called Chinks because they want to " take back" the word.

LGBTQWXYZ {or whatever the hell it will morph into over the next 30 years} is absurd.

Even for the media slut professional gays who love the "in your face" tone of the word Queer would not be insulted by sexual minorities and neither would anyone who just identifies themselves as gay or lesbians. If the professional Queers bitch no one will care because their voice has become irrelevant. This is the same as the "feminists" who portend to speak for Canadian women when they really are just speaking for themselves and getting healthy government paycheques to do it. The term Queer came about in the 90s when the classic "I'm here I'm queer get over it" thing was in fashion to be "in your face" to the society at large. It was the gay rendition of the "black power" movement of the 1960s.

Sexual Minorities covers everything, is less divisive amongst the community itself, and simply is framed as just another community like racial minorities. In short it brings us into the society at large by being just another community within it as opposed to something trying to stand out.

If you are going out of your way to stand out then you can't really bitch if you are left out.
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  #1565  
Old Posted Jul 30, 2016, 12:34 AM
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I don't really find queer has a negative connotation at all anymore. I personally don't favour it for myself, but that's because I feel it suggests additional meaning that isn't really applicable to me.
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  #1566  
Old Posted Jul 30, 2016, 1:38 AM
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I think it is very derogatory. It's like someone wanting to bring back the labels fag, dyke, nigger, chink, wop etc in order to "take back the word".

Just the fact that you don't use it for yourself speaks volumes about how divisive the word is. Queer is highly divisive for the gay community while racial minority is not for people of different races.

Sexual minorities put's us on that same playing field, nothing more nothing less. If your goal is to become a regular and accepted community of the society at large then going out of your way to be an anomaly is very much the wrong route to take.

If Queer is suppose to be supportive then would you go to Detroit and call a black person a Nigger and tell them you mean it in a good way as you are "taking back the word?"
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  #1567  
Old Posted Jul 30, 2016, 11:01 AM
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It's not because of negative connotations but because I don't think queer and sexual minority are synonyms and the additional meaning that is suggested by queer isn't really applicable to me.
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  #1568  
Old Posted Jul 30, 2016, 12:57 PM
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Many Gay men do not consider themselves to be 'queer', though. When I think "queer" I don't think negatively, but I do think of a certain type of person (read hipster, activist type, maybe). As a gay man who is, for lack of a better word, conformist, holds a 'regular' 9-5 job, and is otherwise domesticated, I don't think the term applies to me personally.
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  #1569  
Old Posted Jul 30, 2016, 3:14 PM
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Queer definitely has a negative connotation. I have many gay people's family members {ie mine} don't like the word because they don't want their son/daughter to seen as odd or outside society. They want their kids/brothers/sister/aunt/uncles see as just another average Jane or Joe who just happens to be attracted to the same sex and nothing more.

You very rarely hear the word except from activists who income relies on telling the world they are different and hence need government funding to keep their income flowing.

The fact that we are having this discussion about how some use it, some don't , some like it, some hate it exemplifies how divisive a word it is. Sexual Minorities is far more encompassing and put us on a par with other minorities.........nothing more, nothing less.

The whole point of the gay rights movement was for gay people to be treated and accepted by society like any other group so why "take back a derogatory term" that by it's very nature has been created to set us apart? You can't expect to be treated equally by society if you refuse to see yourself as such.
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  #1570  
Old Posted Jul 31, 2016, 9:16 AM
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My view of the annual Pride Pool Party at the Westin Grande Hotel across the street in downtown Vancouver. It was just winding down.



July 30 '16, my pics


















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  #1571  
Old Posted Aug 2, 2016, 2:52 AM
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Vancouver Pride post-parade rally at Sunset Beach.



July 31 '16, my pic
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  #1572  
Old Posted Aug 3, 2016, 6:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcminsen View Post
My view of the annual Pride Pool Party at the Westin Grande Hotel across the street in downtown Vancouver. It was just winding down.
Fantastic pics! I was at that pool party but I don't see myself in your pics..although I see friends in the photos I spent most of winding down time by the DJ booth with Jack Daniels canopy.
Hope you got to see Brooke Lynn Hytes do her drag performance, half in/half out of the pool

One of the fastest events during Vanc Pride to sell out, my friends recommended to buy early. Westin Grande (facade shaped like a Grand piano, something I learnt during the party) is an amazing venue and I love seeing it here on Skyscraperpage. The pillars and glass paneling on east side of pool deck (right side of your pics) appears to mimic the Roman Coliseum style of the Vancouver Library across the street, not seen in your pics.
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  #1573  
Old Posted Aug 3, 2016, 7:01 AM
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Am I the only one finding those pool party photos a bit pervy
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  #1574  
Old Posted Aug 3, 2016, 8:12 AM
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Originally Posted by mcminsen View Post
My view of the annual Pride Pool Party at the Westin Grande Hotel across the street in downtown Vancouver. It was just winding down.
Meat market

I guess if someone is gay and single, but he ain't a perfect 10, he'd rather move to the Antarctica?
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  #1575  
Old Posted Aug 3, 2016, 1:46 PM
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Originally Posted by ainvan View Post
Meat market

I guess if someone is gay and single, but he ain't a perfect 10, he'd rather move to the Antarctica?
You'd think so, but sometimes it seems that those most inclined to show skin are those you really wish would choose to stay covered. I don't see any 10s in those Vancouver shots. Lots of 6s and 7s and perhaps a couple of 8/9s (although I'd need closer examination to be sure!).
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  #1576  
Old Posted Aug 3, 2016, 2:03 PM
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Jesus . I'd like to give myself a five but if they're sixes and sevens, I'm a three at best. I'd give most of those a 9.
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  #1577  
Old Posted Aug 3, 2016, 3:04 PM
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Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker View Post
Jesus . I'd like to give myself a five but if they're sixes and sevens, I'm a three at best. I'd give most of those a 9.
What can I say, I always had very, very high standards wrt male beauty. That may be why I've always been single.....
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  #1578  
Old Posted Aug 7, 2016, 11:26 PM
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Originally Posted by BretttheRiderFan View Post
Am I the only one finding those pool party photos a bit pervy
God invented telephoto for a reason.
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  #1579  
Old Posted Sep 13, 2016, 3:26 AM
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Am I the only one finding those pool party photos a bit pervy
You're most definitely not the only one.
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  #1580  
Old Posted Sep 13, 2016, 3:27 AM
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Originally Posted by kwoldtimer View Post
You'd think so, but sometimes it seems that those most inclined to show skin are those you really wish would choose to stay covered. I don't see any 10s in those Vancouver shots. Lots of 6s and 7s and perhaps a couple of 8/9s (although I'd need closer examination to be sure!).
For more information on this post, please go to Hanlan's Point Clothing Optional Beach on the Toronto Islands
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