We went to Matturday Wright Live again tonight. Such a fun time. My favourite was buddy talking about starting a business where guys can rent dogs to hit on girls around town and if he doesn't get laid, the dog is put to sleep. "And people calls their dogs furbabies, sure that's not the same thing at all. It's not like when orphanages runs out of room they starts killing youngsters. At least, not that we know. Oh fuck off with your gasping, if you loves them that much fucking adopt one." And buddy making fun of engagement photography, "Sure I'm friends with the biggest kind of downtownie girl, I don't think she ever set foot off Water Street, and her engagement photos is all on the wharf or in the woods. And she was the biggest slut around, my God, if I said her name half the guys in this audience would know her. And she's in a white sun dress with this innocent expression on her face like, "I wonder what dick tastes like?".
And missus, "Tinder is disappointing. Like, don't just tell me you have a big dick. That doesn't tell me anything. I need to know what that was like. I need to know how you got changed in the locker room in high school and the guys gasped and your nickname was horsedick and then somehow your teacher mentioned that to your mother and then she's worried, oh God, how is he going to treat women when he grows up, I need to talk to him about his horsedick, and I need to know how awkward those conversations were, and how embarrassed you were... you can still be a feminist and vulnerable with a big dick."
And the other missus from before, "So, all of you who have been here before know me, but what you don't know: I'm gay. Yep, I came out in November. [APPLAUSE] That wasn't my parents' reaction. They're low key Trump supporters, so I figured revenge is as good a reason to come out as any - when he won, I told them."
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(Set to a Muslim girl from Kosovo who became famous in the UK - they do everything just a little better. It's still brainless pop, but with a little more insight)
Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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Matturday Wright Live by
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