Quote:
Originally Posted by esquire
Fair enough if you don't feel sympathy over their sexual frustration. But you're probably talking about a lot of people who have diagnosable issues like Asperger's, autism, depression, etc. as underlying causes. To just blithely run them down will only galvanize their sense of exclusion, turn them further inwards and plant the seeds for more of this sort of carnage.
I'm not saying anyone needs to invite one of these guys over for dinner and conversation, but inciting hatred toward them is not the most productive approach IMO.
|
Having seen autism first-hand in my life I can try and offer some psychological insight.
Males on the high functioning end of the spectrum often will find difficulty in dating in their younger years, and it's no fault of their own - despite wanting to fit in, they're simply not born with the natural ability to socialize in the same way that so-called "neurotypicals" do. If there's a lack of supports in elementary and high school, or the parents don't see it, these people can slip through the cracks and have no idea why they keep getting rejected. If you keep getting rejected and have no idea why, a logical explanation one might think of is that it's the fault of others; this can be re-enforced by well-meaning parents who believe in their kid and aren't able to see what they're doing wrong. By the end of high school, the individual who hasn't received proper support and has never been taught social skills may feel a sense of hopelessness: while many of their peers are going to prom with a date, nobody wants to go on a date with them, and it can feel like it may never happen, but they don't know why. Doubly bad if they ask their parents or peers or teachers why, and they don't get an answer. (The worst thing you can say to one of these individuals, from my experience, is 'you'll find someone!' or 'there's someone out there for everyone!' or 'it'll happen in university'. That doesn't help, because it sets expectations and it doesn't give any advice on what to do differently; with expectations comes disappointment.)
I know myself, when I was in high school, I never once dated. I also barely dated in university. And, nobody would tell me why I kept getting rejected. All I kept getting was positive words from parents, teachers, and various friends that it would eventually happen, but it doesn't help. It took a couple of male friends to actually sit me down and explain things to me before I understood what I was supposed to do in order to get someone to date me. I had absolutely no idea and I was shocked. I had absolutely no idea that I was doing everything wrong, but nobody ever bothered to tell me back when I was 13, 16, 19, or 21, and nobody taught me what I was supposed to be doing until I was well into my 20s. Eventually I did have some romantic success, and although I'm single right now, I have better confidence now.
My point is, there has to be support for people that are on the autism spectrum, because if they fall through the cracks and don't receive proper support, they can easily end up in a vicious circle of rejection and have no idea why they're getting rejected, and it can escalate. I'm thankful it never got remotely close to the point it did for Alek, but I had the support I needed (albeit a few years later than I should have). Some compassion for these people at their right stage in their lives can make a world of difference. Most people want to "fit in" in society and if they feel excluded, it's anyone's guess what might happen.
Prev
Participation trophies were invented to appease the parents of millennials, not the millennials themselves. I never kept mine, and I honestly don't actually remember receiving any if I did, other than completion certificates. My brother got some, they're at my dad's house because my brother doesn't give a shit about participation trophies either. 
Linear Mode
