OT: The New Rules for Driving in Calgary.

[feepa]

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN CALGARY :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "CAL-GREE".


2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.


3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On Deerfoot, you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a landing at the airport. Anything less is considered "Wussy".


4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Calgary now has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, Hamptons , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.


5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.


6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.


7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Calgary . Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and more construction starts everyday.


8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.


9. 16 th Ave, TransCanada, and "Hwy #1" are the same road.


10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."


11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 kph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.


12. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

Most of these you can just replace Calgary with Edmonton... or other various city.... lol

[Champion3]

How about:
1. Yield signs are actually merges; and
2. Merge signs are actually yields.

[You Need A Thneed]

Originally Posted by Champion3

How about:
2. Merge signs are actually yields.

I can't think of anywhere where this is the case. The other way around, yes.

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by You Need A Thneed

I can't think of anywhere where this is the case. The other way around, yes.

Really? I've lost track of the amount of times some dumbass yields getting onto the deerfoot in the merge lane!

Or yields coming off of southbound deerfoot onto westbound memorial, when it is a BLOODY FREE FLOW LANE!!

I think we need mandatory re-testing of drivers licenses every 5 years, and make it for everyone!

[feepa]

Oh you guys have morons that don't understand freeflow down there too?! My god. Big pet peeves...
People who can't merge, people who stop when merging, people who try to merge 20-40 under the limit, people who dont know what "free flow" means... People who use the regular lane to de-accelerate/brake (rather then the off ramp or exit lane). People who use the fast lane to poke along under the speed limit... (I better stop before this turns into a full out rant)

[Me&You]

Originally Posted by feepa

Oh you guys have morons that don't understand freeflow down there too?! My god. Big pet peeves...
People who can't merge, people who stop when merging, people who try to merge 20-40 under the limit, people who dont know what "free flow" means... People who use the regular lane to de-accelerate/brake (rather then the off ramp or exit lane). People who use the fast lane to poke along under the speed limit... (I better stop before this turns into a full out rant)

Yep, we've got plenty of "them".

At least on the Whitemud, you guys have proper free-flow/weave lanes!

[feepa]

Originally Posted by Me&You

Yep, we've got plenty of "them".

At least on the Whitemud, you guys have proper free-flow/weave lanes!

we do?
Please study 149st/122st on the whitemud. Especially look how the fox drive / tewillegar interchanges interact... If you are heading downtown from the rich areas of the SW (tewillegar) you have to merge into the left lane, cut across the right lane, and on to the off ramp in about 30 seconds... and visa versa for coming home..

The rest of the whitemud works though...

[guymez]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

Really? I've lost track of the amount of times some dumbass yields getting onto the deerfoot in the merge lane!

Or yields coming off of southbound deerfoot onto westbound memorial, when it is a BLOODY FREE FLOW LANE!!

I think we need mandatory re-testing of drivers licenses every 5 years, and make it for everyone!

Couldn't agree more. Although, I wish I had a dollar for everytime I tried to merge onto the Deerfoot only to have some driver (who is either just clueless or just being a jerkoff) who doesn't make an effort to open up a space. I have actually been flipped off (when trying to merge) by people who don't seem to understand that they are actually part of the merge process.

[Lyle]

Odd -- in California, you often have traffic control lights for each freeway on-ramp in urban areas. A red light holds you back for roughly two seconds per vehicle as a way (I believe) of limiting congestion at bottlenecks.

[IntotheWest]

Point #8...we once encountered an Elk travelling down Bow Trail towards downtown AGAINST the traffic (this was around those new condo towers going up). Hard to miss something that large. Kinda odd he made it that far into the city.

[Me&You]

Originally Posted by IntotheWest

Point #8...we once encountered an Elk travelling down Bow Trail towards downtown AGAINST the traffic (this was around those new condo towers going up). Hard to miss something that large. Kinda odd he made it that far into the city.

Not strange at all; Edworthy and Shag are right there. I've seen plenty of animals that far or further in. It's still shocking initially, everytime I see them, but it does happen and with relative regularity.

[Champion3]

Yeah people treat freeflows as yields or merges all the time.

[freeweed]

Originally Posted by feepa

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On Deerfoot, you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a landing at the airport. Anything less is considered "Wussy".

This one I find funny. Maybe I just never drive when everyone's in a hurry, but I find the Deerfoot is a parking lot during "rush" hour, and every other time... let's just say I'd eat my hat if anyone actually went 130. Maybe at 2am when I'm asleep.

I pretty much always trundle along at 110 (10 over is my built-in limit) in the passing lane, and maybe once in a 20km stretch do I have anyone even approach from behind. Most of the time I'm FLYING by other vehicles, at least a 10-20 km/hr difference. Sometimes as much as 30-40 compared to the rightmost lane.

I guess if 110 is "fast and scary" for you (ie: you've never actually driven a freeway in your life), then the Deerfoot feels like that quote. Otherwise, it's actually pretty darn slow.

[DizzyEdge]

Originally Posted by Lyle

Odd -- in California, you often have traffic control lights for each freeway on-ramp in urban areas. A red light holds you back for roughly two seconds per vehicle as a way (I believe) of limiting congestion at bottlenecks.

Saw that in Denver too.

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by freeweed

I guess if 110 is "fast and scary" for you (ie: you've never actually driven a freeway in your life), then the Deerfoot feels like that quote. Otherwise, it's actually pretty darn slow.

Damn straight man. Autobahn doing 180km/h, now that is getting around fast!

And we really need to re-educate people on the 4-way stop procedures. So many times I've come across people that have no concept of giving way to the person on the right rule for arriving at the same time! MORONS, and then you end up with the finger or dirty look.

I can safely say here that I am an awesome driver and have never done any of this stupid shit in my driving time. No accidents, and only a few close calls that was me reacting to someone else messing up. Yet day after day I'm forced to drive around these people that don't give you space to merge, yield when they are supposed to...etc etc etc. Thank god the weather is warm enough that I can start biking to work again.

[93JC]

Originally Posted by feepa

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN CALGARY :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "CAL-GREE".

'kal.gə.ri




()

[entheosfog]

Originally Posted by Me&You

Not strange at all; Edworthy and Shag are right there. I've seen plenty of animals that far or further in. It's still shocking initially, everytime I see them, but it does happen and with relative regularity.

I encountered a run-away cow coming towards me on the off-ramp from Glenmore onto Blackfoot...not much you can do except get the hell outta his way!

[entheosfog]

...how about when people treat yields as merges and cut you off when you're going 80km/h and they're now going like 20km/h in front of you? That's not too nice...

[feepa]

Originally Posted by entheosfog

...how about when people treat yields as merges and cut you off when you're going 80km/h and they're now going like 20km/h in front of you? That's not too nice...

That usually gets a long horn and big middle finger of appreciation from me

[Rusty van Reddick]

Don't flame me, please. I've had a license for 26 years and have never been in an accident; I've only ever had parking tickets, and I have no idea what a "freeflow lane" is. Please explain.