The "me-too" movement

[Corndogger]

Originally Posted by vid

Well it's great to see you guys are so eager to support male victims. Here are some registered charities you can support either financially or through volunteering:

Canadian Centre for Male Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

1 in 6 (That's the proportion of men who've been sexually assaulted)

Some statistics

Also, most sexual assault centres do accept men, so you can donate to them and ask if there are ways that you can assist them in that. You can also do your part by spreading the word that there are services out there for men to access, and that there is no shame in speaking out and getting support whether they were recently assaulted or assaulted decades ago. Every little bit helps to break the stigma.

Unless it's changed recently my understanding is that few shelters will accept men and that law enforcement agencies still operate under the presumption that men are always the abusers. Courts are probably still that way as well. Maybe one day people will look just at the evidence of the case and not rely on stereotypes.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by vid

Well it's great to see you guys are so eager to support male victims. Here are some registered charities you can support either financially or through volunteering:

Canadian Centre for Male Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

1 in 6 (That's the proportion of men who've been sexually assaulted)

Some statistics

Also, most sexual assault centres do accept men, so you can donate to them and ask if there are ways that you can assist them in that. You can also do your part by spreading the word that there are services out there for men to access, and that there is no shame in speaking out and getting support whether they were recently assaulted or assaulted decades ago. Every little bit helps to break the stigma.

Thank you for sharing those links vid.

[Hecate]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Just curious what industry you work in?

This was in the restaurant industry.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Hecate

This was in the restaurant industry.

That seems to be common in that industry.

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

I don’t think the lack of coverage has anything to do with ‘leftist / feminist’ media. If anything toxic masculinity prevents men from coming forward because it doesn’t respect ‘weakness’ in males and it insults them for not wanting sex with women all the time. Did you read the article?

This. 100%.

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by Corndogger

The media and feminists try to make it seem like men are the ones always doing the abusing but I believe stats show it's close to being 50% to 50%. In other words, women are just as likely to be the abuser as they are the abused.

This is utter and complete bullshit. Sexual abuse is almost always associated with power dynamics. Far, far, far more often, women are in subservient roles to men, and consequently much more likely to suffer sexual abuse. The "stats" back this up resolutely. The proportion of women suffering sexual abuse at some point in their life is between 25 and 50 percent of all women.

Blaming the feminists is not part of the solution.

[isaidso]

Agree. Women are sometimes the abuser but most male victims of sexual assault/rape were abused by other men.

[Corndogger]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

This is utter and complete bullshit. Sexual abuse is almost always associated with power dynamics. Far, far, far more often, women are in subservient roles to men, and consequently much more likely to suffer sexual abuse. The "stats" back this up resolutely. The proportion of women suffering sexual abuse at some point in their life is between 25 and 50 percent of all women.

Blaming the feminists is not part of the solution.

Where did I use the word "sexual"? I was talking about abuse in general.

[Dr Awesomesauce]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

I don’t think the lack of coverage has anything to do with ‘leftist / feminist’ media. If anything toxic masculinity prevents men from coming forward because it doesn’t respect ‘weakness’ in males and it insults them for not wanting sex with women all the time. Did you read the article?

Some truth in that but let me just correct a couple points:

If anything masculinity prevents men from coming forward because women don’t respect ‘weakness’ in males and they insult them for not wanting sex with them all the time.

That's a little closer to the truth.

And I'm not blaming women for anything in particular. It's just that relations between men and women are extraordinarily complicated whether in the home or at work. And, clearly, we're really confused about that at the moment and we probably have been for decades.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Dr Awesomesauce

Some truth in that but let me just correct a couple points:

If anything masculinity prevents men from coming forward because women don’t respect ‘weakness’ in males and they insult them for not wanting sex with them all the time.

That's a little closer to the truth.

And I'm not blaming women for anything in particular. It's just that relations between men and women are extraordinarily complicated whether in the home or at work. And, clearly, we're really confused about that at the moment and we probably have been for decades.

Can women not be part of toxic masculinity culture? There are plenty of women who love douchebags and assholes. I wonder if many of them are just chasing after their shitty fathers who failed them in childhood.

That said, women aren’t the ones leading frat culture. Women aren’t the ones criminalizing homosexuality in Russia. Women aren’t generally the ones patting a guy on the back after he gets raped by or rapes a woman.

[vid]

Originally Posted by Corndogger

Unless it's changed recently my understanding is that few shelters will accept men

It's true that most shelters (communal settings) are for women, while typically with men they get put into single adult accommodations. Nothing is stopping men from setting up men's shelters but I think the demand for higher degrees of independence is part of why support for abused men trends towards putting them into solitary accommodations as opposed to group homes.

There are also cases where women in women's shelters have assaulted other women, which is partly why some don't accept lesbians. A similar issue would exist in a men's shelter that accepts gay and straight men. And of course trans people add yet another dimension to this.

Originally Posted by Corndogger

and that law enforcement agencies still operate under the presumption that men are always the abusers. Courts are probably still that way as well.

Well, I mean, it's law enforcement. There are a lot of things they get wrong, this is just one of them. A lot of medical professionals make the same assumption. Men coming forward is still quite rare, a lot of people in those professions have yet to be exposed to it.

Originally Posted by Corndogger

Maybe one day people will look just at the evidence of the case and not rely on stereotypes.

Maybe one day people will point to the evidence, and not to hyperbole based on that evidence. Maybe one day people will use that evidence for the advancement of support for abused men, like I have done, instead of as justification for the oppression of women, like you have done. Maybe.

Originally Posted by Dr Awesomesauce

If anything masculinity prevents men from coming forward because women don’t respect ‘weakness’ in males and they insult them for not wanting sex with them all the time.

Society doesn't respect weakness in men.

Originally Posted by O-tacular

That said, women aren’t the ones leading frat culture. Women aren’t the ones criminalizing homosexuality in Russia. Women aren’t generally the ones patting a guy on the back after he gets raped by or rapes a woman.

There are countless examples of male figures, Bill Maher comes to mind particularly, who are always quick to congratulate men when they're assaulted by women. My respect for Maher has worn very thin over the years but much of what has worn it down was his reaction to a boy in Florida being assaulted by a teacher a couple years ago, he was practically begging to trade places with the victim. It was ignorant and revolting.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by vid

Well, I mean, it's law enforcement. There are a lot of things they get wrong, this is just one of them. A lot of medical professionals make the same assumption. Men coming forward is still quite rare, a lot of people in those professions have yet to be exposed to it.

Hopefully articles like the one I posted will encourage others to come forward as well.

Society doesn't respect weakness in men.

Well put. A more succinct version of what I was trying to say.

There are countless examples of male figures, Bill Maher comes to mind particularly, who are always quick to congratulate men when they're assaulted by women. My respect for Maher has worn very thin over the years but much of what has worn it down was his reaction to a boy in Florida being assaulted by a teacher a couple years ago, he was practically begging to trade places with the victim. It was ignorant and revolting.

I haven't seen an episode where he does that but I can totally see him doing it. That shit needs to be called out for the abusive lie that it is.

[vid]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

I haven't seen an episode where he does that but I can totally see him doing it. That shit needs to be called out for the abusive lie that it is.

He did it at least once in 1998 and I recall him doing it again a few years ago but I guess I am mistaken? A few comedians have made similar "how can a woman rape a man" jokes before.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by vid

He did it at least once in 1998 and I recall him doing it again a few years ago but I guess I am mistaken? A few comedians have made similar "how can a woman rape a man" jokes before.

Wow. Clearly he hasn’t changed with the times at all since he doubled down on that statement in 2007 and hasn’t commented since. The Playboy interview was even worse. This just tanked any shred of respect I had for the guy. I’d hope someone like him would be more open and educated about that but clearly not. Society still has a long way to go. That’s why I wrote that article in the first place.